The Unquiet Grave
by silverbirch
Summary: Seamus learns that sometimes we can only show our love by letting those we love go, for each of us has a time. There is a time to live, and a time to die. All characters belong to JK Rowling.


They had all grown much closer in that year, almost by default. Many pupils did not return in the September following Dumbledore's death and, of those who did, some left as the opportunity to escape arose.

As the four senior Gryffindors Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, Lavender Brown and Parvatil Patil had tried to hold the House together and provide some kind of normality for the younger pupils to cling to as the reign of terror spread throughout Hogwarts.

They had sat in the Common Room of an evening, telling stories of Harry and his friends which had already become the stuff of legend for the very youngest. They tried to rally morale and courage as the punishments became more and more severe and waited for the day they could strike back.

In the midst of all this, friendship became more than that for Seamus and Lavender. Friendship became love.

She would nurse his wounds and he would comfort her when the taunts of being "the whore who wasn't even good enough for a Weasley" were thrown against her. Then he would plan his revenge against those who had slighted her and the cycle would begin again, even as she tried to dissuade him. He'd just laugh and ruffle her hair, telling her that his genes wouldn't allow him to back down from a fight, especially if the odds were stacked against him.

In the few quiet times they would sneak precious moments together, walking in the gardens behind the greenhouses and watching the buds swelling on the plants, promising new life with the coming of spring. Lavender would run her hands through the lavender bushes and then bring them up for Seamus to smell, and he would make some corny comment about how the plant should hang it's head in shame as it could not compete with her for fragrance and beauty, and she'd smile and kiss him.

Their other favourite place was just on the edge of the Forbidden Forest where a low branch made a seat they could sit on as the evening drew to a close. He promised that one day he would take her home to meet his family in Kerry and they would watch the sun go down over Kenmare Bay, which knocked Galway Bay into a cocked hat – according to him.

Eventually it became too dangerous for Seamus, and he was forced to seek refuge in the Room of Requirement. He begged her to come with him but she refused, saying that somebody had to be there. Lavender, the flirty one, the flighty one, had become a mother figure for the younger children and would not leave them until it became absolutely necessary for her own safety.

In the end she had to run, too, and found herself in Seamus's arms. They both knew this would end soon, one way or the other. If they were discovered they would have to fight, or eventually they would leave their sanctuary with the same result.

Despite everything, Lavender and Seamus considered that time in hiding to be one of peace and contentment. They had each other, and drew strength from that. There was no great passion, no childish displays of affection. Instead they held each other quietly and escaped from the present by imagining the future; a future they convinced themselves would not involve war and suffering. They also knew, without having to say it, that their future would be together.

One day, out of the blue, Harry was there along with Ron and Hermione, the other Weasleys, Professor Lupin...the list went on and on. Then Dean arrived and Seamus ran to hug him, telling him not to go away again because he'd need to be a best man. The smile on Lavender's face persuaded Dean it wasn't a joke, and he was glad his friends had found true happiness amongst the horror.

Then they went out to fight. After the battle was over Seamus had just enough time to tell her of their victory, and hold her hand, before she died of her wounds. There was nothing he, or anyone, could do to save her.

He picked the site for her grave himself, just in front of the branch they had sat on and facing in to the setting sun, and dug it alone.

-o0o-

The funeral, of necessity, was brief. They carried her body from the hospital wing, with Seamus walking behind, and laid her to rest in the cold clay that would be her final accommodation on Earth. He took one last look and dropped in a single sprig of lavender before the soil was returned.

Dean and the others gave him a hug before they had to depart. Other bodies needed to be interred before the day was done, and there was little time to spare. Seamus watched them leave, and then sat down.

It was approaching evening when he saw a small figure, a House Elf, approaching.

'Dinner will be served shortly, Sir,' it said quietly. 'Will you be coming in?'

Seamus gave the Elf a small smile of gratitude, even as he shook his head.

'No, thank you. I'll sit here and mourn her a twelve month and a day; that much I can do for her.'

The Elf bowed his head in understanding. 'In that case, Sir, Perky would be honoured if you would allow her to bring your food here every day.'

'Thank you.'

-o0o-

No one could move him, though many tried. One evening, a few weeks later, Dean came out just as night was falling. It had been a brilliantly clear day and myriad stars shone out across the darkening sky. Dean sat, and they shared a companionable silence for a while.

'Clear night,' said Dean. 'It'll get cold later.' There was more silence, though not oppressive. 'Will you come back and sleep in the dorm?'

Seamus looked down at the grave before he spoke. 'I don't think so, I don't like leaving her alone.'

Dean nodded in understanding. 'How long will you stay by her side?'

'A twelve month and a day; that sounds right somehow.'

'It'll be cold, though. If I bring you a sleeping bag, will you use it?'

Seamus gave him a sad, grateful smile. 'I will. Thank you.'

Dean got Professor Flitwick to cast perpetual warming charm on the bag before taking it out. At least his friend would sleep warm for a while.

-o0o-

On the 1st day of September, he saw Professor McGonagall walking across the slope from the castle. She, silently, asked his permission to sit on the branch near him and he nodded in assent. He knew the ground would be harder to get up from, and the war had taken a toll on her. He waited for her to speak, even though he knew what she was going to say.

'The new school year starts today, Mr. Finnigan. Will you join us to take your NEWTS?'

'Thank you, Headmistress, but I must decline.'

She knew that would be his answer. 'So you have decided to remain by her side?'

'She was my only true love, so I'll stay. I'll be here a twelve month and a day.'

McGonagall was glad he was not looking at her as he spoke, so that she could compose herself. 'It must get lonely for you.'

'It gives me time to think; I should have done more of that, and I never get tired of the view. I like looking at the mountains and the way they change with the light.'

'But even so...I could bring you books, if you wish.'

'Thank you.'

McGonagall brought him books on a regular basis. Sometimes they were fiction, and sometimes the text books he would need when he had a future again. She cast a _Fidelius_ around him, that only his year mates and staff could pass, so he could mourn in some privacy.

-o0o-

Hagrid visited him as autumn drew on. 'Yeh're intending staying out come what may, aren't yeh? It'll get bad though; all the signs are there.'

Seamus nodded in agreement. 'I know. The squirrels have got very bushy tails this year.'

'Ah, I've seen that too, and the onions had real thick skins on 'em; they know all right. I can't change yeh mind?

Seamus put his hand on the grave, in a caress. 'No,' he said, quietly but with absolute resolution. 'A twelve month and a day I've promised her, and I'll stick it out; it's not long compared to the time she'll spend here.'

Hagrid nodded and put his massive hand surprisingly gently onto Seamus's shoulder. 'Yeh'll deal with it in your own way, and nobody can say yeh're wrong. Will yeh let me build yeh a shelter, though, for when it gets bad?'

'You've all been so good to me, and I appreciate that. But nothing too grand, now.'

So Hagrid built a hut around him and the grave, and caulked the walls to keep out the wind. He put a small stove in there, and kept Seamus supplied with wood.

-o0o-

They all came to see him over Christmas, singly or in small groups, bringing things he would find useful. Hermione knitted him a hat and Molly Weasley sent a jumper. Harry and Ron bought Honeyduke's chocolate and Dean brought companionship.

On Valentine's Day he was on his own and that was the only time he cried; not for himself, or even Lavender, but for the life and children they would never have together.

Then he continued his vigil and, as the days started to lengthen and merge one into another, he began to lose track of time.

-o0o-

The morning dawned cold and blustery; Seamus could hear the occasional burst of rain against his hut. Slowly he stirred in his sleeping bag, seeking to retain the warmth inside it. As usual, his first action was to roll on to his side to look at Lavender's grave.

She was lying on top of it, watching him with a mixture of love and exasperation on her face.

Seamus sat bolt upright, the blood draining from his face. 'Holy Mother of God!' he exclaimed, as he automatically crossed himself. It was something he had not done consciously since he was ten, but old habits die hard.

'I've never been called that before' she replied, smiling softly at him.

'Is it a ghost you are?'

'No, I'm not a ghost, nor do I want to be one.' She sat up and looked at him with sorrow. 'I want to move on, Seamus. I don't want to stay here merely as a shadow of what I was.'

'So why can't you? What's stopping you?'

She gave a small laugh, a sound he'd not heard for...over a year. 'You! Whilst you sit on my grave and mourn me I cannot sleep, as I am meant to.'

He shook his head. 'A twelve month and a day, that's how long I want to mourn at your grave. I want to do this, Lavender, for you, for me.'

She moved closer to him, looking hungrily into his face. 'Oh, Seamus! It's the 5th of May today. You've been here a year and two days, did you not know?'

He looked abashed. ' I lose track of the time, a bit. But I don't want to leave you, not now; I want to stay here.'

'Why? Why have you put yourself through this?'

He reached a hand out to touch her, but she moved back beyond reach. 'Because we had no time, no time to say our goodbyes...no chance of a last kiss.' The pain filled his eyes, and his voice broke as he spoke. 'We never said goodbye.'

'There was no time...'

'I know, I know that. But we never said our goodbyes, there was no last kiss...'

'Oh, Seamus.' Lavender moved closer to him, but still not within touching distance. 'It wouldn't have been a last kiss, because we didn't know this was going to happen, did we? None of this was planned, nobody knew, and now it's too late.'

'No, it isn't. You're here and so am I. Please, Lavender, one last kiss and a chance to say goodbye, that's all I want.'

She moved away from him, well out of reach. 'You can't Seamus, I'm so sorry. One kiss, one touch even, and I would bring you with me.'

'No, you can't say that.' His eyes pleaded with her.

'I must. I've lain too long in the earth, and my touch would make you like me. I can't do that to the man who means so much to me.'

'You think I care about that? You think I'd rather live a hundred years without you than one second with you? Take me with you, please, my love.'

'No, I'm sorry.'

'I can't stay here, Lavender, not now I know I can come with you. I can't stay; there's nothing to stay for. Everything's gone to nothing without you. Even the gardens we used to walk in have changed; all the flowers have died and withered away.'

She stretched out a hand, but pulled it back and turned her face away from him. 'It was winter, Seamus. The plants that died had lived their life, and it was their time to go. Visit the garden now, watch the seeds sprouting and the buds swelling. That's what happens. Life will continue it's path and I want you to be part of it.'

He stretched out a hand. 'We can change that, you and I.'

'No, Seamus. Live your life, and find contentment. That is what we fought for, and were willing to die for. Please...please don't try to follow me. Live your life as is meant to be, for my sake.

Lavender began to fade back in to the earth. and Seamus threw himself forward, but felt nothing but the cold clay beneath him. 'NO!'

The wind crept through a gap in the wall and ruffled some paper on the floor of his hut. ''Til death calls you away,' it whispered to him.

-o0o-

Seamus lay on the cold ground for a long time, pressing himself in to it and hoping that Lavender would change her mind and come for him as he wanted. After many hours he noticed a few small wisps of green pushing through the earth. They were seedlings that had sprouted with the coming of the new season. They were pale and spindly, struggling to get enough light in the gloom of his hut, but struggle they did, for they knew no other way.

Then he understood what Lavender had said to him. There is a time to die, and this was not his. He had been given life, which she had had taken away from her, and he must make the most of this precious gift.

He must find Hagrid and ask him to take the hut down so that the fragile seedlings would have a chance to live. There would be challenges ahead for all of them, but they would do the best they could.

* * *

_Author's Note: This story is based on a traditional English ballad called "The Unquiet Grave", also known as "How cold the wind doth blow", which may date back to the 1400s. It reflects a belief that mourning for over twelve months and a day prevented a soul from resting at peace. The tradition of Full Mourning for this period, by a widow especially, was observed in England into the early 20th Century. A wonderful rendition of the song can be found on youtube. "Dubliners the unquiet grave" as a search will get you to it. _

_As always, thanks to Euclidian for spotting silly mistakes and making good suggestions._


End file.
